this woman right here will forever be my hero. People say time heals everything, but i am still waiting for that day.. it may be 3 years this year on May 6th. But crap doesn't it feel like it was just yesturday we losbirthday was . The day i lost her is the day i lost a little part of me.
my grandmother was as crazy as a shit house rat. she was the crazy glue that held our nutty family together. she do anything for anyone. she may do anything.She would find a way to get whatever or do whatever. But as soon as you crossed her, shit would hit the fan. Nooo one wanted to be on the end of that stick. it was NOT a pretty thing...
every summer we'd take a family trip to the beach, and just walk the whole thing. We'd come back with mason jars full of shells, and sea glass. Or if it was Zack and Nana, they'd come back with jars filled half full of water with crabs in them fighting... why it was so amusing to them, i dont know. or we'd go to bar harbor and just spend the day there walking around taking pictures. summer time was her favorite time of year. the whole family would get together and sit outside by the fire while Zack and Autumn would catch lighting bugs, or us kids would wrestle.
those are the days i wish i could go back to. It breaks me inside little by little each day, as i remeber all the things, i will never get to do with her agin. Or even all of the things we planed on doing together now. our borbirthday was weeks apart, and we'd always set a weekend to have a big birthday bash family dinner together. It was always an event.. i just wish i could have one last hug, one last laugh, one last talk, one last picture, or just one last phone call.
"Why do you have a rock in your purse!?"
Its not just a rock, its a prayer rock. This is what i held in my hand and my grandmothers hand while i prayed for her to wake up and act like herself. I prayed and prayed for her to pull through. I cried, screamed, kicked, ran, slept, trying to exscape the pain i was facing. This rock, has always been in my purse sense day one of her leaving this world. When i have an off day, i take it out and just hold it in my pocket. Its just a small reminder that she is still with me.
i love you forever and always Nana. Take it easy, tell gram and grampa i love them. I'll see you someday, just not right off.
Daww!
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